Dreaming Yourself Whole

cat-photos-072Dreams are fascinating. Have you ever woken up from nocturnal adventures with a feeling that you’ve been busy all night flying around, solving puzzles, and meeting strange characters whether you remember it all or not? Have you ever woken up with an answer to a problem that was driving you crazy the night before?

Much has been written on dream phenomenon and it’s importance to the psyche. Among other things it’s a place to process feelings and events, and even to connect with a larger sense of knowing. Sometimes dreams can be lucid. In a lucid dream you wake up while dreaming and are able to be a conscious active participant.

Waking within a dream is one thing. What about going into a dreamlike state of consciousness while awake? I’m not talking about daydreaming at work, although this is related.


How do you get there? First, the brainwaves are slowed by repetitive sound such as drumming. In other words, you relax. A calming voice can help too. When I guide a journey I use vocal tones and drumming to find the place between sleep and a waking state where the mind works in images.

Why go there? Just for fun? Actually, many people experience some hesitation about going into this deeper state of consciousness, at least the first time. I think it is the inherent fear of the dark within our own selves. The subconscious was deemed by Freud and others to contain fearful repressed desires and memories.

So again, why go there? Besides fun, which it is. This is a way to access a more powerful experience of yourself. It’s a way to access parts of the self that have split off from neglect or trauma and bring them home again. It is a way to become whole.




Freedom in Motion



Why move?  I mean, why roll out of bed, stretch out creaking arms to grab a shirt while squinting at the bright slit in the blinds,

then shuffle sleepy feet through the butter yellow kitchen to suck up the last of the doughnuts from the sticky box?

Why move this body, this personal missile, stomach to fill, teeth to brush, sex to satisfy, aches to lament, both servant and served? Is the body just a vessel, a vehicle driven by the brain to transport, exercise, propagate, criticize?

What if…

the “driver”, the mind

could take a load off, sit in an easy chair,  just chill. What would the body do?


It might start with a stretch, an ache from long ago. A groan, a roll of the head.

Then maybe it goes deep like fossils being unburied, an arch and turn of the back, twisting, a towel being wrung out that’s been holding on so long. A deep breath out, a small sigh. The body knows something the mind doesn’t.

Don’t worry, no one is watching. Shhhhh…Just chill “driver”.

Ok, now there’s a stretch up and over reaching for something besides doughnuts, who knows what. It doesn’t matter. The words fall away and something deep inside is driving now, rolling on the ocean like a wave unwinding, shaking, turning, like some kind of unexpected poetry thrown up on a slate blue sky.

Just like that, the power of motion, free and true.

Quiet Flickering

171I kept all those old torn promises crumpled in a drawer

safe from the light

As time fell they fermented into ripe innuendos,

dried into blind accusations,

swelled and congealed like the mute leaves that rot in damp alleyways

as faces turn towards the sun


I don’t have time for this!

Still, the rain tapped and the wind hissed

wake up!

I don’t have time for this!


Still my hands reached out for something true

to feed a ghost stomach,

eternally hungry for the mystery scent

of buttery bread baked in earthen clay


The stairs first led downward into darkness

Time tripped and dissolved into eternity

as dream ribbons of rivers untied their tired knots

in archaic formulas

washing the earth in a flood of longing


When the façade cracked it was only for a moment

A gap glimmered through the still night

opening to a thousand candles

complete in their quiet flickering


The Long Way Home


We live in a culture of instant gratification (fast food, 8 minute abs, lose 30 lbs in a week without changing your diet, take a pill to make the pain go away). We expect to feel better without changing habits or looking too closely the underlying cause of an imbalance. It is obvious in the media, but I think it is human nature to want to take the easy way out if possible. But these solutions can cover up the symptoms of the problem and the imbalance will show up elsewhere.

But when I ask people to look back on all the things they worked the hardest for, or suffered the most to achieve, I find that people place so much more value on them. Sure, there is moaning and groaning at the time, but successful transitions become pivotal moments in peoples lives. For me, it is these moments that have taught me who I am and what I have to give to the world.

My point it this, there is value in the path, in the quest, the skills learned, the hardship endured, the obstacles overcome. It can be an exciting adventure to truly understand who you are. And it is well worth the effort.

When is the last time you took the long way home?

Out of the Maze

Years ago, when I was looking for a way to pry my mind from it’s blocks and emotional wounds, fed up with all my circumspection arriving at the same impasse in the maze, I approached the spiritual healing community. I felt like an outsider, a partridge in an overcoat, a zebra in a world of black and white. Where was this light I was supposed to see? Sitting still in silence, besides a nice break from the noise of the world, just made me feel me heart beating louder. The estrangement from myself seemed like a vast crevasse where I scrambled for a foothold.

 I imagined the disdain from those who had actually seen some kind of light (did it happen when you ate enough tofu or could smile with patience at innate human stupidity?). I looked for some kind of key to “spiritual awakening, transformation, universal light and oneness”, but only got more riddles in return.

 When I asked enlightened ones with blissful smiles the annoying detailed questions I’m known for, many looked at me like they had been found out. The answers were either rhetorical, “you know, it’s like the light, man, you know”, or Zen, “Just be and your being will lead you to awareness”. I didn’t understand but nodded anyway, shuffling my way back into my cave.

 Now here I am, ironically, writing to those who just might be wondering like I was. Writing to myself, I could say, at that distant time where I wore sarcasm like a protective cloak so nobody would see what was inside, hurting, angry, ready to break out. Writing about something that words can’t name, hoping just to illuminate some sparks along the way for seekers like me.




SoulSomatics is a practice for healing and self-discovery based on ancient healing arts and somatic movement.

It is a way inward to discover a way out, a journey into the ancient world of knowledge to discover a way to be whole in a modern, changing world.

This is a page for contemplation, thoughts, poetry and offerings from my experience on the path through a spiritual awakening, the study of indigenous healing practices, energy work, somatic movement modalities, a spiritual journey to Peru181

and an ongoing exploration of ways to be more fully present in this life.